now if I really like a company, maybe I *actually* wanna talk to some really cool people and see some really cool shit before letting them down....

I'll literally say "So I'm guessing the felony conviction isn't a problem?" literally while signing the offer letter. It's fucking hilarious.

Ink ain't even dry. Everything was fine 30 seconds ago. Everyone leaves the room. Security shows up to escort me out.

If you laugh, it hurts less.

That reminds me, when I was looking for a job. I was giving out a resume in every shop that had a hiring sign.

Although, I handed out about 40 of them, only in ONE they had the balls to tell me outright that I am not the guy they're looking for.

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"pissed everyone off in literally record time" - Recommended by 10 out of 10 people who, for some sad reason, have a dedicated column up to watch #fediblock.