"I got my 5 years of rations, food, water purification, ammo, firewood, survival manuals, ammo, beans, rice, ammo, and some scrap metal to make ammunition out of. And you bet your ass I'm prepared for any sort of biological warfare from a foreign adversary. Ain't no communists gonna affect the air I breathe! YOU HEAR THAT LIBERALS? I'M PREPARED TO HUNKER DOWN FOR YYYYEAAARRRSSSS!"

*one reality show host president later*

"IT'S A PLANDEMIC! COVID SURVIVABILITY HAS MORE NINES THAN AMAZON WEB SERVICES. THIS LOCKDOWN IS TORTURE! I CAN'T BE IN MY HOUSE FOR MORE THAN A WEEK!"